Wed Feb 14, 2007 16:58
I’m sorry that the last few days have been so frustrating for you. I wish I could have offered you more consolation over the phone. I guess I was just at a little bit of a loss for words. And perhaps, a little bit intimidated, not necessarily because of how angry you were, but because I wasn’t sure how you would react to me trying to comfort you. I compare it to my own experiences, and I know that sometimes, I don’t want to hear it, I just want to yell and scream and vent (yes, I do on very rare occasions), and go through the motions until the situation plays itself out. Other times, I need comforting and to be told that every is OK. I wasn’t sure exactly what you were needing, so I just listened, and as the conversation evolved, my heart filled with compassion for you.
However, you already know the Secret. I don’t need to remind you. But you are so powerful, and you can turn this situation around at anytime. I found out, much to my regret, that my anger is very destructive. I’ve never beaten up anybody over it, but I’ve kicked holes in walls, kicked down doors, smashed windows, broken things. It hurts people and it hurts me. It lowers my vibration and attracts unwanted lower-vibrational situation and people into my life. So I strive every day to “be the bigger person” and be a living example and Choose the right and see everything through a filter of love.
But it doesn’t always work that way! I mess up. Sometimes I forget who I am. But I will never stop striving to be Christ-like as much as I possibly can.
This morning, I woke up feeling awful. I called Darryl (only because I had to give him the phone number to our mortgage lender) and he said, “hey, I was just going to call you. Any change in your situation?” And that’s all he had to say. I lost it. [missing text]..house ,which is quickly spreading like cancer throughout other areas of my finances, and probably his, too. And I don’t want to focus on that, therefore, I haven’t wanted to talk to Darryl lately. Maybe you don’t need to know any of this, but I guess I’m telling you so you know it hasn’t been a great day for me either.
But there is one cool part to that story. After we hung up, I continued to cry for a few minutes. I was still in bed, still in my pajamas, feeling miserable and hopeless. And then suddenly a thought of you popped into my mind. It took me a second (really, only 1 second), and I ceased to cry, and I began to feel wonderful! I think I probably smiled! I remembered talking to you last night. I remembered your stirring voice. I remembered how freakin’ lucky I am that you are in my life! I think that those thoughts are literally what motivated me to get out of bed this morning and face the day. And although it hasn’t been the best day that I’ve had this week, it can only mean that it gets better from here! I’ve still got 4 more days left this week, and so do you!
If I had a magic wand and could change anything about today right now, I would use it to make your day brighter and 300% better. But just know that your problems and trials are making you better and stronger by the minute. It may be hard to imagine that (only because you are already so incredible!), but I can see it and I can envision it. Just keep breathing and keep stepping. We are human, we all falter, But everything is still perfect. Heavenly Father doesn’t make mistakes. This world is our classroom, and we are the students. The people and situations we bring into our experiences are like our teachers. Today’s lesson has been difficult and was not fun! But the general idea is that once we learn the lessons inherent in the situation, we don’t have to repeat them anymore! When you can find it in yourself to give thanks for the lessons, do it.
OK, I’m going to go now before you start calling me Esther Hicks. I might otherwise take it as a compliment, but coming from you, I know it wouldn’t be. (smiley face)
And I hope this makes you feel better: Just remember that no matter how ugly it gets, I’m only a phone call away. I am ALWAYS here for you. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!!! AND YOU ALWAYS WILL!
Happy Valentine’s Day, Baby